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Although This is What I Want…Overcoming Disappointment

Have you ever wanted something so bad in your life? Did you have a strong desire to do something or to obtain a goal or dream that it was all you could ever think of? There are times in our life where we do obtain what we have a strong desire for, but there are times where we do not. How do you deal with the times you did not get what you had a strong desire for? Did you stop or did you learn from your mistakes and continued forward. We all have the ability to continue with our personal goals and dreams; however, we must learn from our past mistakes and/or actions to continue towards our goals.

Disappointment is an experience of feeling let down and somewhat defeated. You held high expectations that something would work out your way, but unfortunately things didn’t turn out as expected. Feeling disappointed can lead to you feeling stuck, can lead to doubt, despair, depression, despondency and discouragement. As a result you get overrun by negative thoughts and other emotions.


Feeling disappointed is beneficial in many different ways. In fact, it’s just like any other painful emotion you experience. All emotions are simply guiding posts that alert you to what is happening in your external environment, while helping you make appropriate adjustments and decisions to improve your situation. It’s not difficult to turn a little disappointment in your favor to help improve your circumstances. Here is a five step process you can use to do exactly that:


5 Key Steps for Overcoming Disappointment


Step 1: Acknowledge How You Feel About Situation - First step is to acknowledge your personal feelings about the situation and circumstances. If you’re disappointed, then admit it openly and honestly. Hiding your disappointment will just prevent you from moving forward. If you’re caught up making excuses, complaining and not taking responsibility for the situation, then you’re just ignoring the real problem.


Step 2: Questions Your Expectations - When it comes to disappointment, your expectations coming into the situation will determine how you will feel after the events have taken place. Say for instance you had no expectations at the beginning of all this. As a result, it wouldn’t matter what happened. Because you had no expectations, you have no reason to be disappointed, and consequently you can see the situation for what it is and select the best path moving forward. Your unrealistic expectations are going to prevent you from learning and growing from this experience.

Step 3: Take Time to Learn from this Experience - Take time to learn from this experience. Help yourself to see through the clouds — opening your eyes to new possibilities and perspectives. When you begin approaching this situation from a space of empowerment rather than a space of disappointment, then you will be in a better position to think more clearly and intelligently about what exactly has transpired. As a result you can move forward through this disappointment with renewed confidence that you can make the most of any situation no matter what happens.


Step 4: Take Personal Inventory - You have everything within yourself to take full advantage of this situation to help turn disappointment into something positive and empowering. However, to move through this process successfully you may need to enhance your problem solving and creative thinking skills. The reason is your disappointment is merely a problem that you must now solve, and you will need to think creatively and maybe even critically to move through these events successfully. Always be mindful of the difference between fact and fiction. Facts are built upon concrete evidence, and fictitious things are based on your opinions, assumptions or perspectives of the situation. These things have no concrete evidence backing them up. As such, don’t use them as a basis for your decision-making moving forward. In order to solve this problem successfully, you will need to cultivate optimism, patience, gratitude, and enthusiasm. You will need to be adaptable and flexible in your approach, and you will need to persevere up until the moment you successfully attain your desired outcome. On top of all this, find time for laughter. Laugh at your disappointments. See the humorous side of the situation. This will help relax you, and may even stimulate your creativity moving forward.


Step 5: Modify Your Expectations and Objectives - The final step is to modify your expectations and objectives. Modifying your expectations will help you to see things more clearly and realistically. Modifying your objectives will come as a result of your adjusted expectations. Maybe you were initially reaching too high, too quickly. A modified objective will provide you with a realistic target you can work towards. Then once you hit that target you can raise the bar higher the next time around.


Disappointment is never fun; whether you're dealing with a relationship that hadn't worked out or if you've missed out on a major opportunity. No matter what the disappointment, it's almost never as bad as it seems, and there are always more ways out than you may think. You can deal with disappointment and come out stronger on the other side. In the end, it’s not what happens to you that matters, but rather how you respond to the disappointments that life throws your way today, that will make all the difference tomorrow.


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